“Hello, I’m XXXXXX with XXXXXX company. I do XXXXXXX. We’re not experts in this field, and I don’t know if anyone is.” So started an Infomercial that I heard at a recent speed networking event. (The X’s represent removed data to protect the guilty.) I don’t know if my jaw really dropped, or if it just felt like it did. I couldn’t stop wondering how he expected anyone to buy from him, or even be excited about giving him referrals, if his opening comment was on his LACK of expertise in his chosen field. As it turned out, I didn’t see anyone who was particularly excited. He spent most of his morning wandering the room by himself.
An old friend of mine used to refer to this as “shyness tripping,” sort of an opposite of ego tripping. In her mind, “shyness tripping” happened because someone was so afraid of criticism, they decided to readily self-deprecate before anyone else could criticize them. In one’s personal life, this isn’t the greatest strategy; in business, it’s fatal. Nobody wants to do business with someone who doesn’t know what the hell they’re doing, and they especially won’t if you admit to it. I’m sure that the person who delivered this Infomercial mistakenly thought that humility would make him attractive to other business partners. If you’d like to see what traits really do make you attractive to potential customers and referral partners, read on.
Confidence: Shyness tripping repels people because they don’t want to be dragged down with you. Confidence attracts people who believe that your upward mobility can rub off on them, or that you can be a profitable business partner. About what should you be confident? Your expertise, for one. Know your business and your work, and don’t be afraid to communicate it. For another, your ability to produce positive results with those that surround you. In any group environment, you can tell those that have “it” and those that don’t. That “it” is usually confidence.
Success: At one time, there was an ethic that held that you should downplay or disguise your own success in business, the thought being that “people don’t want to think that you make more money than they do.” I’m here to tell you that this is the wrong way to go about it. Portray yourself as the least successful person at a networking event or in a sales call, and it will be a self fulfilling prophecy. If you can’t produce success and profit for yourself, you can’t do it for anyone else, either.
Professionalism: Your own personal image matters. I’m not referring to “attractive” or “unattractive” here; I’m referring to personal dress and grooming habits. Dress professionally, groom carefully, look up-to-date (no 1970s pompadours or comb-overs, thanks). And – this is big – DO NOT marinate in cologne. That scent that you think attracts people has just as much chance of repelling them.
Preparedness: At networking events, you’ll always see people who didn’t bring enough business cards (even though they have been instructed to bring a certain amount) or who didn’t bother to practice their Infomercial. Don’t be that guy. Being on your game at these events means that you are able to make the best use of your speaking time allotted, and that your presentation is clear and impactful. Look unprepared, and you will not be attractive to business partners. In a sales call, it’s incredibly common to see people who leave key pieces of information ‘out in the car,’ etc. Bring what you need to sell.
The difference between “someone others would like to do business with” and “someone others avoid like the plague” isn’t impossible to achieve. It isn’t even tough. It’s just a matter of being a pro, and showing it. People feel sorry for underdogs – but they buy from winners because they assume that there’s a very good reason that winners keep winning. Be one of them.
