A couple of weeks ago, an entrepreneur set an appointment to talk to me using a dishonest approach.  The approach is unfortunately common in the sales world – he pretended to be a potential coaching client for me, only to flip the script and drop into his sales pitch.  I was livid, and if you’re interested in the full story, you can check out my LinkedIn post on this idiot.

I’ve talked a lot about dishonesty in this space.  I find it to be an unconscionable stain on the sales profession that I’ve loved for 35 years, and it goes against everything I stand for.  But – maybe I haven’t made my argument well enough, so this week, let’s talk about dishonesty from a practical perspective.  Maybe you aren’t swayed by my arguments about ethics and morals. Fine.  I’m talking today to the “I’ll do whatever it takes to get the appointment/order/contract and worry about what happens later” group.  Hopefully you aren’t one of them, but this newsletter has thousands of readers.  There are bound to be a few.  So, let’s dive into the practical side of deceiving your customers.  For those of us who are committed to honesty and transparency in sales, it should at least make for interesting reading.

Leaving aside the moral and ethical questions of lying to your customers, there are enough practical aspects to lying to convince all but the sleaziest salespeople that it’s not a good strategy.  When a salesperson (let’s call him Bob) decides to deceive a customer (let’s call him Dave), he must accomplish six things:

1. Misdirection: Bob has to keep Dave from seeing and believing any evidence or facts that contradict the lie.
2. Confidence: Bob has to instill in Dave a high degree of confidence in Bob’s trustworthiness.  Bob has to have credibility in Dave’s mind; i.e. Dave must believe what Bob says because Bob is the one who is saying it.
3. Plausibility: Bob’s lie must be plausible and not immediately raise the “Hey, wait a minute” impulse.
4. Affirmation: Bob has to make sure that the majority of voices that Dave is likely to listen to will back the lie.  This is the old “One lies and the other swears to it” meme.
5. Neutralization: Bob has to discredit any voices or sources of information that are outside his control and that are likely to contradict the lie.
6. Memory: Bob has to remember the lie and how it was told.  My grandmother used to say, “if you’re going to be a liar, you’d better have a great memory” – which is the inverse of the better saying, “If you always tell the truth, you never have to remember what you said.”  I should point out that Grandmother was saying that to encourage honesty – not to enable dishonesty!

Whew.  That’s a lot, isn’t it?  Still – sales is a profession not renowned in the general public for its honesty; in fact, a HubSpot survey said that only 3% of people extend trust to salespeople.  Unfortunately, that’s an earned reputation.  Still – some salespeople lie.  Probably – I hope – fewer than in decades before, but it still happens.

It’s never been a great strategy, but it’s worse now because there are so many more ways for customers to discover the truth.  The Internet is a great equalizer.  When salespeople lied in decades past, they could do so with relative confidence that the characteristics of Misdirection, Plausibility, Affirmation, and Neutralization could be covered.  When you’re working to control your customer’s access to information, it’s helpful when the entire knowledge base of the world isn’t accessible with three taps of a smartphone.

Even so, salespeople try to lie and misdirect.  What’s funny is that the last few times I’ve seen it happen, what trips them up is something that you would think would be in their own control, and that’s Affirmation above.  Salespeople lie – but they don’t bother to inform other customer-facing personnel at their company of what the lie is.  The customer talks to someone else within the salesperson’s own company, the other person doesn’t know what the lie is and tells the customer the truth, and BOOM.

It’s kind of like this scene from Glengarry Glen Ross.

So, what’s the impact of getting caught in a lie?  It can vary.  The immediate impact is that you’ll never have the customer’s Confidence again.  When you’re caught in a lie by your customer, they’ll never believe what you say again.  In the extreme examples, this can be a career-killer.  Looking outside our profession, remember how the news careers of Dan Rather and Brian Williams ended.

The funny part is that, in the near term, Dave might continue to buy from Bob – But Bob will never have the power to persuade Dave again.  Ever.  About anything.

And here’s where the practical and the ethical intersect.  Once upon a time, in pre-Internet days, salespeople could get away with lying to customers, because the opportunities for customers to communicate Bob’s dishonesty were limited.  Now?  I see the results in Google reviews all the time.  The bottom line is that even if you’re good at lying, there are simply too many alternative sources of information.  You’re probably not going to get away with it.

And let’s circle back to the dude who deceived me to get an appointment.  His app was one that uses AI for prospect outreach. It’s literally a cold-calling robot.  That’s something that salespeople have dreamed about for decades.  How good is it?  I have no idea.  And I’ll never know, because to me, the person who promoted it is a liar and a charlatan, and I wouldn’t even believe a live in-person demonstration from him.  I could have not only been a client, but a great advocate.  And that door is closed to him forever.  I suspect that I’m not the only one.

Now, more than ever, honesty and transparency are your friends in your sales career. To give your customers any less is to cheat them, you, your company, and your profession.

I’ve said before that I used to drive race cars, as did my Dad and my Granddad.  They were better than I was, but I enjoyed it.  I’ll always remember one of the best pieces of advice that Dad gave me about racing, and as it turns out, my career.  My first couple of races, I was all over the place.  I was either all the way on the throttle, or all the way off – and when I was all the way off, I was usually trying to gather the car back up from being all the way on the throttle.  I was the opposite of smooth – I was overdriving the race car, and I was SLOW.

Dad told me, “Troy, sometimes you have to slow down to go fast.”  He explained that, if I took a more precise line into the turns, got out of the throttle earlier, I’d be more under control, have more corner speed, and be able to get on the throttle earlier and come out of the turns faster, thus having a quicker lap.  That advice stood me in good stead.  But, what if I told you that “Slow down to go fast” is great sales advice, too?  I’ll tell you what I mean.

Too often, salespeople get in a big hurry when they’re selling to a buyer.  They shortcut the sales call by not asking enough questions, not truly getting to know the buyer and his or her motivation, and not understanding the buyer’s business needs, so that they can get to their kick-ass presentation.  That presentation, after all, is going to win the business, right?

Salespeople do this for a few reasons.

First, they might be scared that their customer isn’t going to give them much time, so they figure that they need to get to the “good stuff” (which, of course, is their presentation), so that they can get it in before the bell tolls.  The problem with this approach is that, in rushing to get to their presentation, they are making themselves (the salesperson) the star of the show.  Helpful hint:  The salesperson is NEVER the star of the show.  The customer is.  Questions recognize that, and put the customer stage forward and in the spotlight.  Skipping over questions makes YOU the star of the show.  It also tends to make you the loser of the sale.

Second, they’re scared that the customer will think they’re asking “too many” questions, and that it might be perceived as intrusive.  This can happen, occasionally (it’s happened to me before, but not very often), but if the customer starts signaling that they’re done answering questions, you can always shift gears and go to the presentation, if it’s appropriate to do so.  With that said, I’ve always said that 80% of your chance to win or lose the sale is determined by the questions you ask, and I’ve always erred on the side of more good, open ended, discovery questions than fewer.

Third, they’re desperate or lazy and they just want to get a sale.  This type of salesperson views sales as completely transactional, and looks at questions as a bit of a nuisance.  The sooner you present, the sooner the customer can say yes, right?  Uh, wrong.  If you don’t ask questions, you don’t even know what needs you’re presenting to, which means that your presentation will fall flat.  Salespeople who are in a slump are particularly prone to this, because they just want to get an order to get the monkey off their backs – and fewer things will deepen a slump than skipping steps and questions.

Those are the reasons why salespeople would speed through the questioning – but have you ever seen a salesperson speed through a presentation?  I have.  Notice that above, salespeople shortcut questioning because they’re anxious to get to the presentation.  By the same token, some salespeople will rip through a presentation to get to a proposal, because until you’ve quoted price, the customer can’t say “yes.”  As dumb as it is to skip questions, it might even be worse to shortcut your presentation!  And yet, I see salespeople do it.

Keep in mind that the Buyer’s Journey has five steps – Motivation, Investigation, Solution, Evaluation, and Decision.  And the ultimate arbiter of when it’s time to move from step to step isn’t you – it’s your buyer.  And they’ll let you know.

In racing, slowing down can ultimately win the race, and that’s something that great race drivers know.  In sales, slowing down can win the sale and the relationship, and great salespeople do that every day.

I had an interesting conversation last week.  I was talking to a prospective client and toward the end of the conversation, he said, “You should know that I’m talking to one of your competitors, too.  Would you like to know who it is?”  I think my response surprised him.

I said, “You’re welcome to tell me if you like, but it won’t change my behavior.  My offerings are dependent on my clients, not my competitors.”  He was surprised by this, and I understand why.  In sales, we are constantly having our competitors being used as leverage against us by customers who want to gain better pricing, terms, etc., and a potential service provider that won’t play that game is anathema to many people.  But, why did I say that?  Therein lies a window into my philosophy, as well as some hard questions you might want to ask yourself.

I find that too many companies focus inordinately on their competition, rather than their customers.  That manifests itself in any number of ways; here are some of the most common:

Pricing: When a sales manager demands to know “who we’re up against” before issuing pricing, you have a problem.  I’ve seen that in a number of my clients, and I always ask the same question: “Why?” Dithering over pricing based on your competition is one of the dumbest, and least customer-friendly, things you can do.  You know what your costs are.  You also know what your acceptable profit margin is.  You also know, or should know, what the common market pricing for your services is.  So, why not offer a deal you are comfortable with?  If your pricing is dependent upon having fewer competitors for the business, aren’t you incenting your customers to bring in multiple vendors?

In addition, we are facing increasing availability of information, which creates a greater need for transparency in pricing.  I don’t care how secret you think your pricing is – it isn’t a secret.  There are ways to find out.  My recommendation is to lean into this by being forthcoming and consistent with your pricing.

Hiring:  There are certain industries where the “competitor hire” is way too common.  Company managers, instead of having the courage to hire people from outside their industry and grow their own talent, decide that they should hire salespeople from their competitors.  The problem with this approach is obvious; you seldom if ever get your competitors’ top people. Usually, you get the people they are glad to get rid of, which makes them stronger and you weaker in one hire.  Competitor hires, in my experience, have about a 90% fail rate.

Marketing:  One aspect of social media marketing that has become prevalent is what I call “reactive marketing.”  This happens when a sales manager, marketing director, or even a company president spends significant time monitoring social media postings of direct competitors.  On the face of it, that’s not a bad thing; the problem comes in when the person makes the bulk of THEIR postings reactive, rather than proactive.  For instance, company X posts that they have some sort of a special on machine Y.  Competitor Z then posts a different special on machine A to try to “combat” their marketing.  The problem with this is that competitor Z is letting company X set their agenda for them.  This can also happen during a sales call, when all of the salesperson’s positioning is designed to go up against a competitor’s features, benefits, specs, etc.

Proposal presentation strategy: Recently, I was presenting a training program when a salesperson said, “I always like to be the last person to present my proposal; that way they have everyone else’s numbers when I go in.”  Seriously, what difference does that make?  From a strategic perspective, I actually prefer to be FIRST, for a couple of reasons.  First, the first person to propose is the first person to have the chance to close – and I’ve seen, and sold, many deals where the second person in never had a shot because the first person got the business.  And second, if you’re trying to communicate to your customer that you will have a sense of urgency in servicing the business, why not demonstrate that by exhibiting that same sense of urgency in proposing the business?

Your offering: I see many companies and sales teams that want to alter key pieces of the offering, such as product specs, service frequencies, contract terms, and more, based on who their competitors for a given deal are.  This makes no sense – value, and solutions, are driven not by your competitor, but by your customer’s needs.  Focus your offering on solving your customers’ needs, and your competitors become irrelevant.

The problem with all of these approaches, and other competition-dependent sales tactics, is that you are allowing your competitors to set the arena and the rules of the game.  One of my favorite sayings is, “You can’t BEAT your competitors if you’re trying to BE your competitors.”  When you are as reactive to your competitors as in the examples above, you’re simply trying to be a less-effective version of your competition.  And worse – your customers will sense it.

Now, are there times when competitive selling is important?  Sure.  For instance, if the customers of one of your competitors suddenly start informing you of service problems that the competitor is having, with resultant dissatisfaction, you might want to put together an attack on that competitor – AS LONG AS it doesn’t distract your salespeople from building productive funnels.  Sales blitzes can be great short-term tactics.

The key is to not let your competitors – even your toughest competitors – set your agenda for you; if you do, you’re in trouble, and your customers will know it.

Here’s the best strategy for dealing with your competition:  Act as the best possible version of YOU.  Focus on your customers and their needs.  And act as if your competitors don’t exist – you’ll be surprised how often this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I had an epiphany yesterday.  I was doing a program for a Vistage group in Omaha, Nebraska (one of my favorite places to visit).  We were discussing sales compensation in the hiring process, and one of the group members recounted a recent story about a sales hiring attempt.  He had interviewed a young woman who was a blue-chip candidate, precisely the type of person we need to bring into the profession to reverse the demographic issue facing our profession.

He had gotten to the moment where he made the offer, and he did the strategy where he offers lower than he plans to pay, thinking she will counteroffer, and they’d meet in the middle, which is where he wanted to be.  She thanked him, said she’d consider it, and then called later and said that she was going to pass.  He was mystified, and then he recounted the story later to someone else, and they said, “Young people don’t know how to negotiate, and when you expected her to do so, she just took your offer at face value and rejected it.”  WOW.  The comment that “young people don’t know how to negotiate” is a true statement – but it has a much greater meaning beyond the hiring process, and THAT was my epiphany.

First, we walked through the scenario with him, and we recognized that the best strategy for recruiting is just to decide what you’re going to pay, and offer that amount.  In fact, I advocate putting the numbers in your job ad, making sure that the person has seen them and is fine with the numbers (this should be an early first interview question), and then the conversation itself is moot.  There’s nothing in hiring that is worse than getting down to the final offer and realizing that you’re many thousands of dollars apart, and that you’ve wasted your time and the candidate’s.

But, that morphed into a more meaningful conversation about sales and selling.  It’s true that many younger people have neither the knowledge, nor desire, to negotiate.  And why should they?  They don’t have to in the vast majority of their dealings.  When you go to Amazon to buy something, there’s not a place to enter a counteroffer.  In fact, nearly everything that you can buy now has pricing attached.  Heck, I’ve even embraced this trend by putting basic price points for my services on my website.

Carmax and Carvana have become forces in the auto industry by, in part, offering no-negotiation purchasing.  Tesla doesn’t negotiate.  In other words, the concept of negotiation is an aberration for the younger generations (as usual, I’ll classify this as Millennials and Gen-Z’s.)  So, when a 20-something salesperson is interviewing and they show no desire to negotiate, you shouldn’t be surprised.  But there’s a deeper issue here.

Most people – of any age – don’t like to negotiate.  I’ve been writing and talking about this for two decades now.  If people liked to negotiate, you would find more people that love the process of buying new cars than you do!  People tend to negotiate when they are forced to, either by someone offering a price that is so artificially high that the buyer knows that he or she would look like an idiot if they bought, or by salespeople saying dumb things like, “I want the last shot at the price” or other anti-profit phrases.  I personally have never enjoyed negotiation. I’m good at it when I want to be, and I can train it, but I’m in the 80% of the population that does not enjoy that process.

The instinct here on the part of many salespeople and sales leaders is to say, “Those dang young-uns, they can’t even negotiate!  How are they going to sell?”  This might be followed with a “Get off my lawn!”  Heck, I’ll even admit that this was my first thought upon hearing the story.

But then came the epiphany I’ve been teasing.  Those younger people – who don’t know how to negotiate and don’t want to – are the people who are going to be buying what you have to sell, if not now, then in the near future.

WOW.  Now, that’s something to chew on, isn’t it?  The salesperson that my new friend was trying to hire simply heard the number, decided it wasn’t the right number, and walked away to find another job.  Now, think about her being the buyer of something you’re trying to sell.  You use the old “Start with a high price, because you can never go back up” strategy.

She thanks you and says she’ll think about it.

No counteroffer.

No questions.

Just her moving on to someone else who quotes her a fair price – which she accepts and starts a new relationship. It happens right now, and it’s going to happen more.

Look, I’m not breaking new ground here (for me) by saying that the best negotiation is no negotiation.  Quote a fair price and stand on it.  You maintain pricing integrity, you get a good profit percentage, you save time and pain on the part of yourself and your customers, and you initiate the relationship in a more positive fashion.  That takes a different approach.  It takes sales leaders who are willing to empower salespeople to handle pricing in this fashion, and it takes salespeople who are strong enough to just sit on a price.

My coaching packages for business owners start at $48,000 per year.  A few years ago, I proposed a package to a business owner who said, “Okay, I’ll give you $45,000.” I thanked him for the opportunity and said no.  He said, “You don’t want this business for $45,000?”  I said, “I don’t want it for $47,999.  My price is my price.”  A minute later, he signed the agreement.

Here’s the challenge facing us.  Younger salespeople are going to be dealing with older customers who do, in fact, understand negotiation and feel it’s expected.  Those younger salespeople need to be trained in negotiation skills and equipped to deal with those buyers.  That’s okay; negotiation is a skill that can be taught.

Legacy salespeople, who are used to negotiating, need to be trained on how to not negotiate, and instead maintain pricing integrity with buyers who are accustomed to buying that way.  This might be tougher, because negotiation is, for some, a measure of sales badassery.  Being a good negotiator is part of how many salespeople perceive their worth.

Ultimately, we are in a period of time where adaptability is paramount when it comes to the sales profession going forward.

Will negotiation join “Fish on the wall selling,” “The Take-Away Close,” “False Scarcity,” and “Controlling the Buyer,” in the Museum of Outdated Sales Tactics?  Possibly.  As those younger buyers keep elevating in corporate America, I think that negotiation will be a smaller and smaller part of selling.  You might as well prepare now.

Recently, while perusing discussions on my LinkedIn groups, I saw a statement that can only be described as a doozy:  another sales trainer posted, “I can teach you to build a relationship, based on trust, that will last a lifetime, and accomplish that within a 30 minute sales call.”  Wow.  That’s quite a statement.  And let me make a statement, as well:  I cannot teach you how, within a 30 minute sales call, to build a lifetime relationship based on trust.

Of course, I suspect that the author of the statement can’t do so either.  In fact, I’m sure he can’t; earning a lifetime’s worth of trust cannot be done within 30 minutes.  People simply don’t work that way.  However, if your sights and your goals are set correctly, you can accomplish some important things in a 30 minute sales call.  Let’s talk about what they are.

Establish Dialogue:  The first task on any sales interaction is to generate a comfortable dialogue for both parties.  Any sales interaction begins with fear on both parties’ sides.  Your customer has a fear of making a bad deal, or at a minimum, wasting time.  You have a fear of not selling and not succeeding.  Within the first 30 minutes, you can put at least some of those fears to the side.  The fear creates a wall between the two of you; if that wall isn’t lower by the time you leave than it was when you started, you’ve missed something somewhere.

Become Memorable:  One of the most difficult aspects of selling is being remembered when you’re not in front of the buyer.  We all like to think that we are incredibly distinctive and memorable people, and that not only will our customers remember us, they love us after meeting us.  It isn’t so.  Years ago, I did an exercise with a company I was working for.  In this exercise, we surveyed customers that had been seen the prior week by salespeople.  We simply asked them if they recalled being seen by a salesperson from our company, who the person was, and what stood out about the conversation. (I should point out that my sales force was the top branch in the country for this company.)

The results were sobering.  60% remembered being seen by one of our people.  Less than 50% could recall a name.  Only about 25% could remember any of the conversation.  However, invariably, when someone did recall the conversation, their recollection was that the salesperson “asked a lot of tough questions.”  This is what makes you memorable to your customers – asking questions that get inside their heads.

Deposit into your Emotional Bank Account:  The Emotional Bank Account is at the center of all of your relationships.  Essentially, the EBA is a measurement of how much “equity” you have earned with the other person.  We are constantly making deposits and withdrawals in our EBA’s; the key is to maintain a positive balance by making more deposits than withdrawals.  We make deposits by making positive gestures toward the other person.  We make withdrawals by asking things of the other person that might be unpleasant, tough, or uncomfortable for them.  In the first 30 minutes, it’s critical to begin making deposits into the EBA; if your balance is zero or negative at the end of the first 30 minutes, your customer is likely to close your account.

Gain Understanding of your Buyer:  One of your first tasks as a salesperson is to begin to understand your buyer – and by that, I mean understanding his/her perspective and worldview as it pertains to business dealings.  You do that by asking good questions about your buyer’s background, the things they enjoy about their work, and good big-picture questions about the company itself.

Align Yourself With Your Buyer:  As important as understanding your buyer is aligning yourself with your buyer.  When the sales call starts, one of the buyer’s assumptions is that you and he are on opposite sides of the table, and not necessarily working in the same direction to a common goal.  You’re a salesperson, and the perception of a salesperson is that of someone who is trying to “push” a product or service off on the buyer without significant regard for the buyer’s well-being and interests.  You can communicate, through word and deed, that you are on the buyer’s side and that you are working in the same direction.

(Maybe) Generate an Opportunity:  This one depends greatly upon your offerings and sales environment – but, yes, it is possible to generate an opportunity for a proposal or even an initial order on a 30-minute sales call.  What’s important is to keep this in perspective; even if you have generated actual business in 30 minutes, it does not mean that you have generated that “lifetime” relationship.  It means that you have generated enough trust with your buyer to give you a tryout; what you do from there will determine if you ever have that opportunity to build a lifelong relationship.

“Well, you know how salespeople are.”

That casual dismissal of unethical behavior makes my blood boil, and if you’re a professional salesperson, it should make yours boil too. Recently, one of my clients shared a story about a purchase gone wrong – the system they bought simply couldn’t do what the salesperson promised. When confronted, the vendor’s manager laughed it off with that infuriating phrase above, as if lying to customers is just part of doing business.

Let’s be crystal clear: It’s not. And it never should be.

For too long, our profession has carried the burden of a reputation we didn’t all earn, but one that too many of our colleagues have contributed to. We’ve all heard the stereotypes: the used car salesman, the snake oil peddler, the smooth-talking charlatan. They’ve become movie tropes, memes, cultural references.  And frankly, it sucks.  While unethical operators represent a minority in our profession, their impact on public trust has been devastating.

But here’s the fact: Every time a salesperson oversells capabilities, hides limitations, or obscures terms in an agreement, they’re not just burning one bridge – they’re torching the foundation of trust that every other salesperson depends on, including you and me. They’re making every future sale harder for everyone else in our profession.

So let’s talk about what ethical selling really means, because it’s not just about feeling good – it’s about building sustainable, lasting business relationships and maintaining professional integrity.

First and foremost, ethical selling demands complete candor about product capabilities. If your software can’t handle multi-currency transactions, say so. If your delivery times are typically three weeks instead of two, be upfront about it. If your service has limitations under certain conditions, make those clear. Yes, you might lose some sales. But here’s the truth: You should lose those sales. Because a sale based on deception isn’t a sale – it’s a time bomb waiting to explode.  Sales based on deception are bad business – and bad business ends up sucking our time, our resources, and our souls.

Consider this: When you’re honest about what your product can’t do, something important happens. Your credibility about what it can do skyrockets. Customers begin to trust not just your product claims but your guidance as well. And that trust? It’s worth its weight in gold.

Let’s break down the core principles of ethical selling:

1. Complete Transparency: Never hide or minimize limitations, costs, or terms. If there’s something the customer should know to make an informed decision, share it – whether they ask or not.
2. Customer-Centric Decision Making: If a product isn’t a good fit, say so. Yes, you might give up a commission, but you’ll gain something far more valuable: a reputation for integrity.  Some of my best, most profitable customer relationships have begun with a “no sale” because what they were interested in at the time wasn’t a fit.  Customers remember that, and they’ll come back when it is a fit.
3. Promise Management: Never make promises you’re not 100% certain you can keep. “I’ll check and get back to you” is always better than a commitment you might have to walk back.
4. Documentation: Get everything in writing, not to protect yourself, but to ensure crystal clear communication about what was promised and what will be delivered.

Here’s what happens when we all embrace these principles: The entire profession benefits. Customer trust increases. The sales process becomes more efficient because we’re not wasting time dancing around limitations or managing unrealistic expectations. And most importantly, we build sustainable, long-term relationships instead of one-off transactions.

But there’s another aspect to this that rarely gets discussed: The toll that unethical behavior takes on the salesperson themselves. Every lie, every omission, every “slight exaggeration” creates cognitive dissonance. It chips away at self-respect. It makes it harder to look customers in the eye. It creates stress, because those salespeople have to remember what they said (something you don’t have to do when you tell the truth, as my Granddad used to tell me). And ultimately, it makes the job harder and less rewarding.

To those who say, “But I’ll lose sales if I’m totally honest” – yes, you might lose some deals in the short term. But think about this: How many referrals do you get from angry customers who discovered they were misled? How many repeat sales come from clients who feel they were deceived? The math is simple: Short-term gains from dishonesty never outweigh the long-term benefits of integrity.

For sales leaders reading this: Your role in this is crucial. If you’re laughing off unethical behavior or tacitly encouraging it through your compensation structures or sales cultures, you’re part of the problem. Create environments where ethical behavior is rewarded, where candor is celebrated, and where long-term customer relationships matter more than short-term gains.

I should add here that attempting to deceive, in this day and age, is largely a futile exercise.  There are just too many ways to do due diligence now, and lies are usually – not always – discovered before the sale (yes, I know that my client is an example of when it doesn’t happen).  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:  You can embrace transparency or have it forced upon you.

As a related issue, we used to say, “Treat someone well, and they’ll tell someone.  Treat someone badly, and they’ll tell ten people.”  That was in those ancient pre-Internet days.  Now it’s, “Treat someone well, and they’ll tell someone. Treat them badly, and they’ll tell the whole world,” because people now have the ability to do so through social media, reviews, etc.

The future of our profession depends on raising the bar on ethical behavior. Every interaction with a customer is an opportunity to either reinforce or challenge those negative stereotypes about salespeople. Choose wisely. Because at the end of the day, “You know how salespeople are” should be a phrase that brings to mind professionalism, integrity, and trust – not a knowing chuckle about deception.

Our profession deserves better. Our customers deserve better. And frankly, we should demand better of ourselves.

I’ve been in sales quite a while.  And when I started in sales, the rule I was taught was that “People buy from people they like; get to know about their kids and their hobbies, and you will be able to sell to them.”  Well, that’s changed. Younger buyers – Milllennials and Gen-Zers – are moving into positions of buying authority, and their yardstick for a successful seller isn’t about finding common personal interests, but rather about solving business problems. We’re in the midst of a seismic shift in how relationships are built in the sales world, and if you’re not adapting, you’re falling behind.

For decades, the mantra in sales has been “build personal relationships first.” We’ve all been there – talking about golf, kids, or the latest binge-worthy TV show before even mentioning our product or service. Or, worse, the old “fish on the wall” sales tactic (barf).  And for a long time, this worked, especially with Boomer and older Gen X buyers. But times are changing, and so are buyer preferences. Nobody is going to give you 30 minutes to talk about football before you start addressing their work issues.

Enter the era of business-based relationship building. Younger buyers – late Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z – are flipping the script. They want you to prove your worth by addressing their business needs first. Only then will they consider developing a personal relationship with you.  In my opinion, that’s because younger buyers are more focused on work/life balance.  And to have better balance, you have to get more done during the working hours.  Hence, the old “fish on the wall” salesperson just is perceived as a time-waster.

This shift is leaving many seasoned salespeople scratching their heads. It’s a complete reversal of everything they’ve been taught. I’ve written before about how the “Good Time Charlie” salespeople are obsolete – but obsolescence is a choice. It just requires a change in approach and mindset.  And that change is to move toward business-based relationship building.

So, what exactly is business-based relationship building? At its core, it’s about leading with value. It’s showing potential clients that you understand their business challenges and have the expertise to solve them. Only after you’ve demonstrated your worth do you earn the right to form a more personal connection.

Here are some key strategies to help you make this crucial shift:

1. Do Your Homework: Before any interaction, research your prospect’s company thoroughly. Understand their industry, challenges, and opportunities. This knowledge will allow you to speak their language from the get-go.
2. Ask GREAT business-based questions.  Forget questions about what sports their kids play, where they like to fish, or how many hot rods they have (OK, I guess I get asked that one more than the average buyer.  The number is six. Don’t judge.)  If you want to build rapport, use what I call the “personal professional” questions.  For instance, one of my favorites is, “How did you come to be in this position?”  It allows the buyer to tell his or her story, without being personally intrusive.
3. Lead with Insights: Instead of small talk, open your presentation with insights about their business or industry, and how they (and you) fit into it. Show that you’ve done your research and have something meaningful to contribute.
4. Focus on Problem-Solving: Frame your product or service in terms of how it solves specific business problems. Be prepared to demonstrate ROI and tangible benefits.  This is where mental agility becomes paramount.
5. Be a Resource: Share relevant articles, whitepapers, or case studies that address their business needs. Position yourself as a valuable source of information, not just a salesperson.  It’s even better if those resources are generated by you or your company’s staff.
6. Respect Their Time: Younger buyers often prefer efficient, to-the-point interactions. Be prepared to get down to business quickly and respect their busy schedules.  Think “value per minute” of customer face-time.  I get it.  It’s a mind-shift from past techniques, but it works.
7. Use Technology Wisely: Leverage digital tools for initial outreach and follow-ups. Many younger buyers prefer email or LinkedIn messages to phone calls for initial contact.  If your buyer only wants to text, get good at texting! Learn how to write a persuasive message in 240 characters or less.
8. Build Trust Through Expertise: Demonstrate your industry knowledge and thought leadership. Blog posts, speaking engagements, or active participation in industry forums can help establish your credibility.  Even a well thought out LinkedIn post that shares a best practice you’ve seen can be helpful.
9. Be Authentic: While the focus is on business, don’t completely abandon your personality. Authenticity comes through in everything you do.  For instance, don’t just follow a list of questions that someone else wrote – take the time to create your own questions and put them in your words.  This is how I train salespeople, and in my opinion, it’s the best way for salespeople to be authentically themselves.
10. Adapt Your Communication Style: Be prepared to switch between formal and informal communication styles based on the buyer’s preference. Pay attention to their cues.

Remember, this shift doesn’t mean personal relationships are dead in sales. Far from it. It simply means that with younger buyers, you need to earn the right to that personal relationship by proving your business value first.  Full disclosure – I’ve always been this way, both as a seller and as a buyer.

Sales is changing.  We have to change too. By embracing business-based relationship building, you’re not just keeping up with the times – you’re positioning yourself as a valuable partner in your clients’ success. And in the end, isn’t that what great salesmanship is all about?

So, are you ready to flip the script and lead with business value? Your next generation of clients is waiting.

Are you getting sick of me talking about AI yet?  Too bad.  I wrote my first article about AI and its impact on sales a year and a half ago, and if there’s ever been a moving target, it’s early-stage AI.  Most of us think of consumer-accessible AI as “new,” because the first really accessible app (ChatGPT) was released in November 2022.  But AI isn’t new.  In fact, I watched an old episode of “Magnum, P.I” (the Tom Selleck version), and a 1985 plot line was about a guy who had developed an artificial intelligence technology that the bad guys were trying to steal.

Since then, I’ve written about how to use ChatGPT and still be authentic, I’ve done videos comparing ChatGPT with Claude (which is now my platform of choice), and I’ve even done a live demo of how I use AI as a social media tool.  Some of my early work seems very elementary now, but I’m leaving it up because it shows the rapid evolution.  As AI technology advances, many in the sales world are wondering about its impact on our profession. While some fear job displacement, the reality is more nuanced. Let’s examine the current state of AI in sales and its potential future implications.

Recent AI developments have indeed been impressive. We now have technology that can simulate a person’s voice, facial expressions, and even knowledge base to conduct video calls. I saw this technology demonstrated live and in person in Las Vegas in June of 2024.  This might seem like a threat to traditional sales roles at first glance. However, these technologies still have significant limitations.

For instance, many AI systems currently have noticeable delays in response times. The technology that I saw in Vegas had a consistent 4-second lag in response times (I timed it). A 4-second lag between questions and answers might not seem like much, but in a sales conversation, it can be the difference between closing a deal and losing a prospect’s interest. Sales often requires quick thinking and real-time responsiveness, areas where human salespeople still have a clear advantage.  When I talk about prospecting messaging, I talk about “beat the delete” and how you have 10-15 seconds to grab the prospect’s attention.  That short time span doesn’t go away in a video call, and if the tech is using 4 of those seconds to “think,” it puts roadblocks into the works.

Moreover, sales is about more than just conveying information or maintaining a conversation. It involves reading subtle cues, adapting to unexpected situations, and building genuine connections. These are complex, nuanced skills that AI has yet to master.  In fact, it may never master those skills – not that developers aren’t trying.

That said, AI could potentially replace certain types of sales roles, particularly those that are highly scripted or focused primarily on information delivery. Salespeople who rely solely on reciting product features without adding personal value may find their positions at risk.  I’ve maintained for some time that AI technology will be able to replace a mediocre salesperson sooner rather than later.  This has stirred some controversy.

For instance, when I say this in speeches, I’ve been challenged with:  “Troy, why would you want a mediocre salesperson?  Wouldn’t you want good to great salespeople, and therefore not an AI bot?”

Well, of course you’d want that.  But there are a variety of reasons why a business owner might choose AI.  First of all, the sales talent pool isn’t growing; it’s shrinking.  Top salespeople are getting harder to find, as are top prospects.  When you find them, they tend to be more expensive.  For the business owner who has trouble affording those top prospects or top performers, AI technology can be really appealing – especially considering that AI never calls in sick, doesn’t take lunch breaks, and doesn’t even need sleep.  But, again, I don’t foresee AI being able to replace top performers (or even mid-level performers) in the near future, or even middle future.  Way down the road?  I can’t predict.

However, top-performing salespeople who excel at relationship-building, problem-solving, and strategic thinking are likely to remain irreplaceable, at least in the near future. These professionals bring a level of empathy, creativity, and adaptability that current AI systems cannot match.

So, where does that leave us with respect to AI?  In my opinion, you should see it as a powerful tool to enhance your capabilities. AI can handle time-consuming tasks like data analysis, lead scoring, and initial prospect outreach, freeing up salespeople to focus on high-value activities that require human touch.

The key for sales professionals is to adapt and evolve alongside AI technology. This means developing and honing skills that AI can’t easily replicate: emotional intelligence, complex problem-solving, and the ability to build trust and rapport with clients.  In fact, I’m going to repeat my advice here from that very first AI article I wrote:  Get good, or better, at the things that AI can’t do.

1. Get better at your job.The key for salespeople in this environment is to constantly learn, develop, add new skills, and shed old techniques that aren’t working anymore.  Unfortunately, few salespeople do this.  When I interview salespeople on behalf of my clients, I always ask, “What’s the most recent sales book you’ve read?”  Ten years ago, I got a good answer more than half the time.  Today, it’s rare that I get one at all – in fact, about half of the salespeople I interview have never read a book on selling.  When I ask a follow up question about how they develop their skills, they answer that they really don’t.  Sales is a profession of constant change and constant development, and if you don’t care enough about your profession to get better at it, you are replaceable.  Don’t be that guy or gal.  Invest in yourself.  Read books.  Read articles.  Watch YouTube videos.  Attend training programs.  And then practice, practice, practice.  Get better and do better.
2. Embrace technology.Yes, this article is partially telling you how to combat a new technology, but those who do not embrace it will find themselves steamrolled by it.  I’m constantly amazed when I see salespeople (and worse, sales trainers) fighting the use of tech like CRM.  I have actually seen a “sales trainer” recommending that salespeople ditch the CRM and instead use paper note cards.  The 1990s called, and they would like their mentality back!  Today, salespeople must embrace and use tech of all types.  CRM, social media, video conferencing, and IM’s are all tech that salespeople should not only be conversant with, but competent in.  Not only that, you should be ready and anticipating the next trend.  There’s a reason that I refer to “AI” in this article for the most part, and not “ChatGPT.”  ChatGPT is but one AI app, and who knows whether it will be the most prominent in five years?  Remember MySpace?
3. Flip the script.We always like to think about the “Sales process,” and what we want from the process and what activities we will be performing to get there. I want to challenge you, and I’m taking this challenge myself.  Stop thinking about “Sales processes” and instead think of the “buyer’s journey.”  Think about the act of selling from the perspective of the person buying, evaluate the steps from the buyer’s point of view, and work to help them achieve what they want.  It’s a change in thought and terminology, and I’m doing my best to help you get there with articles, videos, webinars, and I’ve even rewritten my sales training to reflect this change.

In conclusion, while AI will undoubtedly change the sales profession, it’s unlikely to completely replace skilled salespeople in the near future. Instead, we’re moving towards a hybrid model where AI augments human capabilities. The most successful salespeople will be those who embrace this change, continuously upgrade their skills, and learn to work seamlessly with AI tools to deliver superior value to their clients.

The future of sales isn’t about humans versus machines, but rather humans and machines working together to achieve better outcomes. As with any technological shift, those who adapt and evolve will thrive in this new era of AI-enhanced sales.

What if I told you that the #1 characteristic for being a good salesperson is simply – to be a decent human being?  We have opportunities to demonstrate character, or lack of character, every day in our selling careers.  Our success or failure in those opportunities will, over the long run, determine our career trajectory. I can train a lot of things, but I can’t train someone to be a good person.

I had an opportunity to think about this recently while doing a Hiring Assistance project with a client.  I interviewed a person for a position with a client, and despite doing two interviews and vetting his credentials, I couldn’t bring myself to forward him to my client as a finalist.  I couldn’t put my finger on why – and then he called me.  He demanded (not asked) to know if he was a finalist.  When I informed him that he wasn’t, explaining that it was a tough competition and while I appreciated his time and application but he was not, in my opinion, the best fit for the position, he hung up on me.  And then it hit me why I didn’t submit him along – I had found him to be a little bit of a jerk in the interviews; not bad enough to cut the interviews short but enough that I didn’t end one with a positive feeling.  And regardless of credentials, if someone isn’t basically a good person, I couldn’t recommend him to my clients – because sooner or later he might be hanging up on a customer or co-worker.

As I said, we all have opportunities to demonstrate character in our sales world, and I’d like to discuss some indicators of good or bad character:

How you treat people whom you perceive are no help:

This is a big one.  The reason that the man I mentioned above hung up on me was that I was of no further use to him, and if I was of no use to him, it wasn’t worth the niceties to keep a relationship whole.  I get that, and I’m no angel, either.  I’ve dismissed interviews within 10 minutes before.  The key is that I always attempt to do so politely.  Same way with networking contacts, etc.  Again, I’m not perfect, but I always hope that making the attempt counts for something; and I think it does.  People know when you’re trying to do the right thing, and when you’re not.  The classic “how you treat the server and the janitor” falls into this category, as well.  The candidate could have thanked me for the opportunity, kept the relationship live, and I might have recommended him for a different job.  But he didn’t, and the bridge is burned.

How you treat your co-workers:  We all have our “triggers,” but this is one of mine.  One of the common old tropes about salespeople is that, “aw, the best salespeople are really difficult people to work with, they don’t treat co-workers nicely, and you just have to deal with it.”  Bull. Good people are good people, and they treat people with respect – even when those people have disappointed them.  Years ago, as a sales manager, I had an issue with a production supervisor over a big mistake she made that caused a big problem with a brand new customer.  When I went to talk to her, her explanation made no sense, and it was clear that she just wasn’t thinking when she and her staff made the mistake.

Well, if you know me, I do have a bit of a temper (although I’ve mellowed since then).  Some pretty insulting comments immediately rushed to my mind and one nearly escaped my mouth.  Instead, what I said to her was, “Give me a second to run to the restroom and then we’ll talk about this.”  I didn’t have the call of nature, but I knew that if I didn’t take a couple of minutes to compose myself, I was going to turn a bad situation into a very bad one.  I walked away, got a drink of water, and when I came back, I approached the problem as a “we” situation instead of a “you” situation, but I also made sure that she knew that it was a big mistake and that I very much hoped that it wouldn’t happen again.  And it didn’t.

How you confront problems:  Think about this situation; you have an angry customer, and you know it.  Do you confront the problem head-on by calling or meeting with the customer, or do you duck and run?  Ducking and running might be comfortable, but it is seldom the best solution.  You will gain respect, even from people who are dissatisfied with your performance, if you confront problems head-on.  There’s another piece of this, too, and I call it the “4:30 phone call.”  Let’s say your customer has a problem, it’s the end of the day, and you don’t have a resolution.  The instinct is to not call the customer, because you have nothing new to tell them.  That’s the wrong move.  If you don’t at least touch base, the customer will go home and stew over the problem and they will just get madder and madder, and even if you do have a fix in the morning, they won’t like it – or you.  The best path is to call and say, “Hey, they haven’t gotten back to me with an answer yet, but I want you to know I’m on it and we’ll get it handled.”  The customer just needs to know that their problem has become your problem.

Truthfulness:  I had an interesting exercise a few years ago.  A very good friend of mine was applying for a selling job, and she had just been fired from her previous employer.  Neither the previous employer nor the new one was a client or had any relationship with me; however, based upon knowing her for a long time, I felt that the new job was a much better fit for her.  In any case, she asked me how to handle her recent firing when she was asked about it.  I advised her to be truthful.  Explain that she’d been fired, honestly tell the interviewer what her numbers were (they weren’t bad), and what she’d learned if anything from being fired.  She did so.  Today she is employed on what just might be her own personal dream job and successful – and I’m confident that she wouldn’t be if she’d tried to ‘spin’ the situation.  There are times when the truth is anything but convenient – but if you tell the truth, you never have to remember what you said.

You have promises to keep:  The biggest complaint about salespeople (well, besides pushiness) is that they make promises to customers and then don’t keep them.  Want to differentiate yourself?  Keep your promises!  Of course, sometimes the biggest part of keeping your promises is knowing what promises NOT to make.  I had a situation a couple of years ago where I’m pretty sure I could have sewed up a Sales Audit and a hiring assignment by simply making a commitment about the industry experience of the final candidate.  The problem is that I’m not sure I could KEEP that commitment; searches can be unpredictable, and honestly, the industry itself was very specific.  Instead, I committed to the other characteristics that were important.  Result?  I got the assignment after a couple of weeks more selling, and I got it on terms that I knew I could fulfill.  And the salesperson is still there and succeeding.  Sometimes the quick and easy route becomes hard later.

I look at this list and think that it should be obvious; unfortunately it becomes less obvious every day.  In many ways, good old fashioned character is something that has fallen out of fashion in our society.  Don’t be a victim to that trend.  Be the kind of person your customers could trust with their dogs, and you’ll be the kind of person that is very successful in selling.

Recently, I was in the middle of a conversation with a business owner who has been achieving some admirable sales growth lately.  He was bragging on his sales director, who, he said, had just “won a $250,000 order by $5,000.”  When I asked him what he meant, he said that his sales director had put in a bid that was the lowest price – but by “only” $5,000.  I smiled and continued the conversation, but I was lost in thought.

You see, l don’t consider being the lowest price as “winning” the sale.  Here’s why.  To me, as someone who has been involved in and passionate about the sales profession for over 30 years, sales is a persuasive activity.  That’s what I love about it.  There’s nothing better in business than facing off against another salesperson, mano a mano, with the prize being a valued piece of business.  To win a selling contest by persuading the customer that my solution is the BEST – that’s what I have lived for in my entire career.  It’s gratifying emotionally, intellectually, and yes, financially.

I’ve never gotten that emotional charge by simply underbidding my competitor.  When you get a piece of business simply by being the lowest price – even if it was a large piece of business and the margin of victory was small – all you’ve proven is that you’re willing to take the lowest profit in order to get the business.  If there was persuasion involved, it was that you were no better that equal to the other competitors.  You qualified.  That’s all.

By now, you might think that I live in a fantasy world where no sales are decided by price.  If so, you’re wrong; I do understand that some sales are decided by price, and that sometimes, you have to pencil-whip a piece of business to get it.  I get that.  I’ve been there.  I’ve done that.  And I’m not saying that you shouldn’t do it.

What I am saying is that language matters, and it’s important to be careful how you discuss these types of sales.  When you celebrate a low-bid piece of business and refer to it as a “win,” (no matter how small the margin), you send the message to your salespeople that the way to “win” is to cut price.  This is how sales teams lose the skills of actually winning sales through persuasive means, and become simple price-cutters.

When you do engage in low-price competitions for business, there are a few things to understand:

First, understand that price-selling is a zero sum game.  Price selling is essentially playing chicken with  your competitors to see who is willing to take the lowest profit in the interest of getting the business.  The trouble with this approach is that there is (usually) a bottom beyond which price can’t be cut.  Years ago, I cost one of my competitors about $200,000 through one of these situations.  There was an online ‘reverse auction’ for the services with a large customer, and each of five competitors could bid.  We knew going in that we weren’t willing to be the lowest price, so we decided to have some fun.  The rules of the auction allowed us to lower or raise our bid at any point, so I did a little trick.  We put in an absurdly low price, watched our competitors go down into the dirt to try to match us, and then with 60 seconds left we pulled our bid and dropped the business on a competitor.  Over the 5 year contract, they lost about $200K on servicing the business.  To this day, the owner of the company growls when he sees me.

The point is that you must be willing to walk away from bad business.  That brings me to my second point.  Bad business doesn’t get better.  Every sales manager has had the experience of having a sales rep come to us and say, “Hey, boss, I know this deal looks bad now, but it will get better over the long haul.”  The trouble is that it doesn’t – when business is sold based on bottom-dollar price, it stays at bottom dollar.

The third point is that low price customers tend to be unhappy customers. When I was in the car business, we had a saying – “The higher the profit, the happier the customer.”  It was true there and it’s true everywhere else.  That’s because a higher-profit customer has been well and truly SOLD.  They have bought into you, your products, and your services, and a good foundation for a relationship has been established.  “Bid wins” seldom have that quality.

Fourth, Bid ‘wins’ aren’t loyal.  Keep in mind – if the reason they went with YOU is a low price, that’s going to be the reason you’ll lose them, too.  Someone, somewhere, will pencil-whip the numbers and come up with a lower offering, and then you’re out the door.

And finally, Bid ‘wins’ set a bad example.  Every sales manager, or business owner, works on his/her sales team to get higher prices – but you lose the moral authority to do so when you do lowball pricing.  You lose it MORE when you celebrate those ‘wins.’  Remember, your example influences your salespeople.

So, how do you thread the needle between the sometimes-necessary practice of low-bidding, and still trying to maximize your profit?

First, keep low-bidding to rare and important circumstances.

Second, have clear and justifiable reasons for low-bidding.

Third, recognize that you haven’t really built a true “relationship” with the customer, and manage accordingly.

Finally, don’t celebrate as if you really WON a sale, so as not to send incorrect signals to your sales team.

Keep those concepts in mind, and you’ll be able to occasionally grab a low-bid sale while still retaining the ability to have your salespeople achieve good profits.