A few weeks ago, you read about my flight from hell with American Airlines (and if you didn’t, read it here).  To sum up, American either delayed me by hours or stranded me on every leg of a flight to and from New York, and I didn’t find ONE sympathetic or empathetic face, gesture, or word from any American Airlines employee.  No apologies, no acknowledgement that they had done anything wrong.

Last week, on a flight home from Atlantic City, Southwest (which had gotten me to my gate early on the previous legs of the flight) was delayed by about 30 minutes on the leg of the flight from St. Louis to Kansas City.  That’s not great, of course, but in the grand scheme of things it was minor.  But what struck me was that the Southwest captain and crew apologized not once, but FOUR TIMES during a one-hour flight (in addition to several from the people at the gate) for getting into Kansas City late.  This, plus a later discussion with someone, illuminates my thoughts on personal accountability and within there is a huge lesson for salespeople.

When I told the story of the American flight to a friend of mine, he asked, “Do you suppose they’ve been trained NOT to show empathy or say that they’re sorry?  I once worked for a company that forbade saying ‘I’m sorry’ to a customer.”  My first instinct was to say that, no, the people I encountered were obviously unhappy people who had probably banished the phrase, “I’m sorry” from their vocabulary a long time ago, but I have heard of training of this sort.

But why would any company train its employees not to say that very important phrase?  Simple.  They’re avoiding accountability.  Some companies approach customer interactions like they are testifying in Federal court, where the object is to admit nothing.  That’s probably a decent strategy for keeping your butt covered, but what effect does it have on the customer?

The answer to that is in the end of my article on the American flight.  Trust is broken and I spent money to buy a ticket on another airline even though my fare on American had already been paid.

You see, here’s what those types of trainers – and the American Airlines employees I encountered – don’t realize.  When you are standing in front of the customer, you don’t represent the company.  You are the company.  An upset customer at a desk at an airport doesn’t have immediate access to the CEO, the President, or even the corporate headquarters building.  Usually, teeth must be pulled to gain access to a supervisor of some sort.  Therefore, the customer doesn’t care about the pilot that showed up late, the mechanic that was too slow on his maintenance, etc.  They care that the company has inconvenienced them or not lived up to its promises, and YOU are the company.

Does this scenario sound familiar?  When we have a problem with a customer, it’s all too easy to blame “the supplier,” or “the production department,” “shipping,” “HR,” or whoever else.  That’s a great way to lose a customer.  Instead, get in front of the problem, take the bullet, and then work back-channel – out of the customer’s sight and hearing – with other departments to resolve the problem.

Good customer conflict resolution isn’t that tough.  It simply requires a few very human steps.

1. Own the problem. We’ve already talked about this.  Don’t blame other departments and don’t transfer the person to someone else.  YOU be the person that makes the problem go away.
2. Yes, that means saying that you’re sorry that this happened to the customer.  And don’t weasel out with one of those crappy non-apology apologies, such as “I’m sorry that you’re upset by that.”  What you’re really saying there is, “This happens a lot and our smart customers just deal with it.”  No, give a real apology and mean it.  Remember, YOU are the company.  Does the company regret the problem?  They’d better.
3. Let them vent. If the customer needs to vent, let them do so and don’t interrupt unless they become abusive.  To me, ‘abusive’ means personal name-calling and so forth.  You don’t have to put up with that.  But let them vent and gain understanding of where they’re coming from.
4. Engage them in the solution. If there are multiple possible solutions, engage the customer in deciding which one would best solve or address their concerns.  Making the customer a partner in the solution gives the customer back what they value the most and they feel they’ve lost – control.
5. Offer a make good if possible. Sometimes, there is a small gesture or act that you can give your customer to attempt to make the problem right.  Maybe a shipping discount, maybe a token of appreciation, etc.  Just make sure that the make-good is in proportion to the inconvenience.
6. Follow up on satisfaction. Finally, make sure that you got the problem fixed on the second try.

As I said, good customer service isn’t tough, but it can sometimes be very rare.  Do it right and you can keep customers while putting the problems behind them.

A few weeks ago, I was engaged in a debate with someone in one of my training classes. The salesman that engaged me was a good guy, well intentioned, but like a lot of salespeople, he’d been trained into some bad techniques. He asked me about a particular technique for voice mail that relies on deception (getting the contact to believe you are a customer, rather than a salesperson) to get the contact to call you back.

“It works,” he said. “I get a lot of calls back.” When I asked him how many of those call backs result in sales, the answer got a lot more vague – but I can’t blame him. It occurred to me that one of our problems, in building sales methodology, is that we (salespeople and trainers) many times define “success” incorrectly. We only look at the immediate step rather than the overall result. So how should we define success?

The ultimate success in selling is when you sell a customer, they’re enthusiastic about buying from you again, and they will evangelize for you by giving testimonials and referrals. That’s the ultimate success in selling. Too often, we settle for much less, and the reason is the way we sell to our customers. Let’s look at a sales process and see where we can go wrong – at EACH STEP – to prevent ourselves from doing that.

Initial contact: Typically this is a prospecting call but it can be a call from the customer to you. Our objective is to turn this initial contact into an opportunity to discover the customer’s needs and present solutions. Definition of success: The customer is interested enough to enter into a sales process with us. Failure point: Either we don’t give the customer a reason to be interested, or worse, we do or say something that creates a NEGATIVE impression so that the customer becomes biased against us. Deceptive tactics fall under this umbrella.

Discovery: Our purpose here is to work, in tandem with the customer, to discover their needs, define the successful result of a purchase, and create interest in a Presentation. Definition of success: You discover needs and the customer agrees that you have identified the correct needs, and the customer is enthusiastic about seeing a presentation. Failure Point: You skip or shortcut the needs, you don’t get the customer’s agreement that these are the needs, you move to Presentation before the customer is ready.

Presentation: Our purpose here is to show the customer how we can satisfy the needs and met the customer’s criteria for a successful result. Definition of success: The customer’s interest increases, the customer agrees that your solution would achieve their desired result, and the customer requests a proposal. Failure Point: You don’t show the customer how you can achieve their needs, you don’t confirm with the customer that you have achieved the needs, or worst – you do or say something that is perceived as deceptive. Rushing through the Presentation to get to the Proposal will create customer discomfort.

Proposal: We show the price and terms of our solution. Definition of success: The customer understands the price and terms clearly because we present in a simple fashion with no “fine print” involved. Failure Point: You quote a proposal that glosses over important details, leaving the customer to be surprised later by things like incidental and ancillary charges, etc. You use “sales words” that increase customer skepticism about your credibility.

Closing: We want to get the business in a customer-friendly fashion. Definition of success: Your customer agrees, enthusiastically, to buy. Failure Point: You ‘hard close’ the customer until they bleed from the ears. Maybe you even get the order but the experience is so unpleasant that they won’t repeat and won’t evangelize. When I first started in sales, selling cars, we had a sales manager that was nicknamed “The Hammer” because of his hard closing style. Many times he “hammered” a customer into buying a car – and most of the time, they wouldn’t ever return our calls again.

Post Sale: We want a customer that, as I said above, would happily buy from us again, would evangelize and refer us, and in general smiles when they think of us. Definition of success: Your customer recommends you, takes your calls, takes your meetings, and is open to buying more from you. Failure Point: Poor customer service, poor follow up, or any negative experience during the sales process.

Some tactics in selling are best thought of as “buy or die” tactics – in other words, if the customer doesn’t buy, we’re dead to them. In my experience, I’d rather lose the sale today and preserve a potential customer than go all-in on burning a customer with the hope of slapping one deal together. If you stay in your business and your job long enough, you’ll be surprised at how many of those customers come back to you later because you treated them with respect – and many times, the ultimate deal ends up being far more lucrative.

On the other hand, you can use tactics that deceive, manipulate, and use words to try to box your customer in to try to get them to buy once. And when you do, they’ll remember you, but not in a good way. The choice is yours.

“Trust.” It’s a short word and perhaps the most important word in selling – but do you really know what it means or how it works? In my experiences, too many salespeople do not. Trust is the hardest won, yet most easily lost, characteristic in a customer interaction – and will cost you more sales than any other.

The dictionary defines “trust” as “firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.” A lot of times I’ll put a “sales definition” on top of the dictionary, but today I won’t. That definition works. I think most of us would agree – and yet, even salespeople who would readily agree that “customers have to trust me” still use sales tactics that destroy customer trust, even from the beginning. I’ve had two very diverse experiences of how customer trust can be forever destroyed in the last couple of weeks, and there are lessons in each.

In a recent training class, a young salesperson asked about the old cold-calling tactic where you call the President of a company, and upon getting his/her voice mail, you just leave a name and number. The way this tactic works is that you’re hoping that the President thinks that you’re a customer rather than a salesperson, and thinking so, calls you back when they wouldn’t readily call a salesperson back.

The problem with this tactic is that, as soon as the President realizes that you’re a salesperson and not a customer, they realize that they have been deceived. Do people place “a firm believe in the reliability or truth of someone” who has initiated their conversation with a deception? I’d venture to say that very few do – and while this tactic might result in more call-backs from phone calls, it results in fewer actual appointments, and a miniscule number of sales.

The sale goes for another old, hackneyed tactic, where the salesperson calls, leaves a name and number, and then starts into a message and pretends to get cut off right before you get to “the good stuff.” Again, the thrust of the message is pretending that you’re not a salesperson. And the result is the same.

But what about instances where you’re already doing business, the company already has your money, and destroys your trust? I had an instance like that a few weeks ago.

I was flying to Islip Airport on Long Island for a training session. My flight on the airline – let’s call them American Airlines, because that’s who it was – was to leave Kansas City for Philadelphia at 11 AM, where I would change planes, and fly into Islip at around 6 PM. My flight from Kansas City was delayed both due to maintenance issues and then to the weather, to the tune of three hours – just long enough so that I could see my connecting flight to Islip take off while I watched longingly.

No problem, I was assured. I would be rebooked on the 9 PM flight. That was fine with me, as I’d still be able to start my training program the next morning. After about an hour, I was notified that my 9 PM to Islip was canceled, but I could be rebooked on the 9 PM to LaGuardia. You guessed it. 30 minutes later this flight was canceled. The reason for the cancellation was given as “weather,” but I was watching other planes take off.

At the customer service counter, there were now about 20 people wondering how we would get to Islip. American “helpfully” offered to rebook us – on 9 PM flights THE NEXT DAY. You see, the earlier flights were all booked up. One man in the crowd made an incredibly logical suggestion. “Why don’t you just delay the 9 PM flight tonight to 7 AM tomorrow? That would get us into Islip by 8, and we could go about our day.” That would have worked for me, since I could have started my training class perhaps a half-hour late. No, they of course couldn’t do that, “Because we wouldn’t have time to sell seats for that flight.” The logic that they were flying people to whom they’d already sold seats cut no ice.

Long story short, I ended up renting a car from Budget and driving three hours to Islip, arriving at midnight. My training program was a great experience for myself and for the company, and I headed to Islip airport on Friday knowing that this flight would be better.

I was incorrect.

When I got to the ticketing desk, the man informed me that the flight was to be delayed about an hour and a half due to a “late arriving crew.” He then said that I’d be stranded overnight in Philadelphia (seems like I’ve heard this before), and offered me my choice of Saturday morning flights home, one at 8:15 and one at 9:15. He assured me that both flights were direct, take off in Philly and land in KC, no problem, so I selected the 8:15 flight.

Arriving in Philadelphia and picking up my hotel voucher I was informed differently – that the 8:15 flight first flew to Charlotte, where I’d sit in the airplane for an hour and a half, and then fly to Kansas City. Keep in mind that American had screwed up every leg of my trip so far. The next morning I went to the gate, explained that their person in Islip had made a mistake, and that I would like to switch to the 9:15 flight. I had already checked and there were seats.

The person at the counter informed me that this wasn’t possible – I could fly standby on the 9:15 but she couldn’t guarantee me a seat on it. Keep in mind, the only reason I was on the 8:15 was a mistake by THEIR employee. It didn’t matter. She rudely shoved the boarding pass back at me and said, “Be on the 8:15 or go standby on the 9:15. Those are your choices!”

I reflected on her, and on the fact that every American Airlines employee I had encountered was a stone-faced, sullen, unhappy, unsmiling person who made it very clear with every gesture and word that I was an intrusion and that they didn’t care whether or not I got where I was supposed to go when I was supposed to go there, and I realized something important.

I no longer trust American Airlines to transport me. Anywhere. At any time. I envisioned another bout of incompetence in Charlotte stranding me there (granted, I love Charlotte – but not on this particular weekend), and I made another choice. I walked to the Southwest desk and spent nearly another $500 because I trusted Southwest to get me home. And they did, 15 minutes ahead of schedule. The Southwest ticket desk employee was the first smiling person I’d seen at an airport in my journey.

So, what does all this mean? Am I just complaining about American Airlines? Well….to be honest, yes, a little. But more important than that is this: What broke my trust with American was not the flight logistics issues, even though those were awful. What broke my trust was the utter lack of empathy and caring shown by their employees, every one of whom acted like I was an imposition. Those people didn’t care one bit whether or not I got home. Had even a single AA employee shown real human empathy, I’d have stayed on them, and had I had a successful experience on the 8:15 flight I wouldn’t have written this article and I wouldn’t have sworn off flying that airline (and I will not, again, EVER). I should point out that the last three trips I’ve taken on AA they have stranded me on my way home, so this isn’t new.

Machines, computers, and processes may impact your customer experience. But to truly establish, or destroy, trust requires a human being. Think about that the next time you’re dealing with a customer who has had a bad experience, show empathy (and MEAN it), and you just might preserve a customer relationship.

When you think of a natural expert in social media, what picture do you get in your head? Is it a gray haired CEO, or might it be someone young? Perhaps someone who is, say, 25? A person who has accounts on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, Snapchat, and Tumblr? I bet we’re getting closer. Now, what if that person actually worked for a tech company – maybe a company like Yelp? I’m betting that you would say that this is a person who really knows how to maximize social media. I would, too.

And we’d be wrong. Because the prototype of the person we’re describing is a young woman named Talia Jane, a (former) employee of Yelp. Not too long ago, she posted an open letter to the CEO of her company that went viral. This letter decried her “poor pay” and “starvation living conditions.” She was – appropriately – fired. But not before she was thoroughly debunked using her own social media accounts. You see, what Talia failed to consider – and what too many salespeople fail to consider – is what I call the “open door” effect of social media. Within Talia’s story is a huge lesson for any salesperson who plans to make social media a part of their personal marketing and branding strategy.

As it turned out, many readers of her open letter didn’t simply take her claims of starvation (so bad, she said, that she had to drink a quart of water before bed every night to stave off midnight hunger pain) at face value. They looked at her other social media accounts, and found pictures of her using expensive beauty products, description after description of gourmet cooking of such items as proscuitto-and-brie meatballs (no, I didn’t get the recipe) and a story of her having expensive bourbon delivered right to her desk at work.

What Talia didn’t realize is that social media opens a door into your life. Granted, it typically only opens a door as far as you allow it to (every story above was posted by her, to her own accounts), but on the Internet, everyone can open that door as far as they would like to, and view your life as it really is. When they do, what will they find?

“But wait, Troy,” you say, “I have privacy settings on my accounts. Only my friends can view my pictures.” Yes, that’s a good idea. I have those settings too. But why would you expect that the world stops with your friends? Consider the case of a salesperson that I’ve known for years. I’m one of her Facebook friends.

For years, she had complained about her largest customer. They were a screwed-up company that didn’t communicate well, didn’t deal with vendors fairly, and were such a pain in the rear that she constantly wondered whether or not it was worth doing business with them. She was safe, of course, because none of the decision makers at that company were tied to her Facebook page. She could post whatever she wanted.

Except, that one of her Facebook friends was on a first date, and during the conversation, he mentioned that he worked for this company. The friend, having read for years about how awful the company was, said, “Wow, that must be a horrible place to work.” Asked why, the friend explained that she had been reading about how badly run the company was for years. Then – don’t get ahead of me – she showed her new prospective beau some of the posts. When the new beau got back to work the next day he asked a few questions, and you can guess the rest. Long story short, my friend has one less Facebook friend and one less large customer.

You can be nailed on social media without being the poster, too. During a recruiting search a few years ago, I did a Facebook search on a candidate. His own page was locked down tight – only accessible to his friends. However, his friends had tagged him in a number of pictures and videos that depicted him behaving in manners that were both illegal and showing very bad judgement. Out he went.

So what’s my point? My point is this. If you want to get heavily into social media, you have to carefully manage your own presence. Once you open that door, sometimes you can’t control how far it opens. Social media can be a good tool for building your own brand and your own business, but it has to be used correctly.

Last week’s column was about the need for salespeople to get out of their own way, and how too many salespeople don’t. Then, a couple of days ago, I saw a perfect example of a salesperson who got in his own way.

I had lunch with a friend of mine who runs an industrial manufacturing company, and on the way back, we stopped by a distributor of shop equipment – my friend’s company needed to buy a couple of machines. The salesperson eagerly showed my friend a machine, and my friend asked the salesperson, “What’s the duty cycle?” The salesperson – using the finest sales techniques that the 1970s had to offer – asked, “Is the duty cycle something that’s important to you?” (It was the old, “Always answer a question with a question” technique.) My friend whipped out his smartphone, Googled the model number of the machine, and found the duty cycle. He looked at the salesman and said, “You have just become superfluous,” and we walked out.

When we got back to the office, my friend got online, found the machine, made sure the specs were what he wanted, placed the order, paid, and arranged shipping – all in about fifteen minutes. He probably had the transaction complete before the salesperson at the equipment distributor figured out what he did wrong (if he ever did).

And what did the salesperson do wrong? You’ve (hopefully) figured it out already. He used a 1970s technique in a 2016 sales environment. Yes, I once learned the “Always answer a question with a question” technique, too. And I know why it’s thought to be a good idea – by using it, it theoretically can help you home in on the customer’s primary buying motivations. But it’s a bad idea for three reasons:

1. It’s annoying. When a customer asks you a question, they’re seeking an answer, and when they don’t get it, they become annoyed.
2. If you’re doing your job, you should already know your customer’s buying motivations through your own questioning.
3. The world has changed. Once upon a time, customers had to put up with #1 and #2 above because we (salespeople) were the repository of product knowledge that the customer wanted. Now? You got it. Just like my friend did, a salesperson can become superfluous to the process when the product information is easily available via the Internet and smartphones.

In today’s world, when the customer asks you a question, they expect an answer, not a BS question right back. And if you won’t give the customer an answer, they’ll find someone – or something – that will.

Another example of the salesperson getting in their own way is related. Few things strike fear in the hearts of salespeople like the customer who asks for their price “too soon.” You’re only partway through your presentation, and the customer interrupts and says, “How much?”

Your stress meter goes to ten because you haven’t gotten through all the benefits that justify your price. What do you do?

Simple. You answer the question. Yes, I just said that you should tell your customer the price, even though you haven’t gone all the way through your presentation. The reason is simple – if you tell the customer, “Hold on, l haven’t finished my presentation,” or some such nonsense, your customer knows that you’re scared to death of your price – and if you think your price is too high, your customer will, too.

When the customer asks for the price, every word you speak before giving them the price costs you money. Again, the successful technique here is no technique at all – just answer the question.

Of course, sometimes you need more information before giving a price. That’s okay. Just explain why, gather the information, and then give the customer the price.

The common thread here is that in today’s Internet driven sales world, what your customer wants – no, demands – is straightforward communication. We can no longer keep the ‘golden product knowledge’ in our hip pocket – not when the customer can simply tap a few buttons and get it.

The best way to get out of your own way is to drop the old techniques and respect the customer’s intelligence.

A while back, I was in Las Vegas and decided to catch a comedy show. I do this a lot, so unfortunately, I can’t remember the comedian’s name that I’m about to quote, but he was hilarious. He described going to the grocery store, putting his purchases down, and the cashier saying, “Do you have our card?” He replied, “No.” She said, “Would you like one?”

He yelled to the audience, “NO! I DON’T HAVE YOUR CARD! I HAVE MONEY! I GIVE YOU MONEY, YOU GIVE ME MY STUFF! THAT’S HOW THIS WORKS!” It cracked up the entire audience, and why? Because we’ve all been there. You have too. The ‘rewards card’ used to be a cool thing; now it can be more of a nuisance when every place asks you if you have one, and all you want to do is pay and go. That’s but one example of how, with the best of intentions, businesses can become their own worst enemy when it comes to sales.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m used to being asked if I have ‘the card,’ and (since I never do), if the cashier simply says, “OK,” rings me up, and gets me out of there, it’s no problem. On the other hand, if the cashier acts offended, or worse, makes a contest out of it, then the transaction itself might not happen. At a bookstore last summer (I like bookstores), the cashier took things so far that I simply left my books on the counter, walked out, and I haven’t been back.

For the retail industry, I think some store chains have gotten so obsessed with data gathering that they’ve forgotten that their primary purchase is to sell their products and services. And, if the transaction becomes too inconvenient, the customer just might take their business to another store – or to Amazon.

That’s not the only instance of companies, or salespeople, getting in their own way. There are any number of others, and you might have committed some of them (I have.)

Defense first: Oftentimes, when we’re challenged by a customer, our first instinct is to defend, rather than to understand. A good example is this. There’s a bar and grill very near our house in Kansas City, and I do love a good bar burger. I typically don’t drink alcohol, so my wife and I ordered Pepsis. When we received them, they were flat. As a pancake. I said to the waitress, (politely) “I think your carbonation needs to be changed. These Pepsis are flat.”

The waitress immediately got her back up and defended, saying, “That’s just our Pepsi. All of our other customers drink it just fine.” In other words, there’s something wrong with me for wanting carbonation in my cola. I couldn’t help myself. I said, “You don’t really get the concept of Pepsi. You see, there’s no such thing as ‘our Pepsi’ and ‘their Pepsi.’ It’s supposed to taste the same everywhere.” We left. I would say that we haven’t been back, but we have – the place has undergone two changes of ownership since then.

The problem was caused by the waitress’ first instinct being to defend and fight rather than listen and understand. I have no doubt that she knows that Pepsi isn’t supposed to be flat, but for some reason, she picked a fight. This happens all the time when customers complain, and it can turn a minor issue into a lifelong customer loss.

Selling the product instead of the appointment: When you’re teleprospecting, in most cases, your object is not to sell your product or service, but to sell the appointment. Salespeople who are successful at teleprospecting know this, but salespeople who allow the conversation to go into heavy detail on prooducts and services can kill the appointment by giving the customer an opportunity to give a premature ‘no.’ When you’re teleprospecting, focus on getting the time with the customer, where you can do a quality needs analysis and presentation. (I’ll own this one.)

Upselling past the purchase: I’ll own this one, too, and it’s painful. We’ve talked a little about excessive ‘upselling’ in the retail world. It happens in B2B, too. Here’s what I did:

I had been working with a client on a Recruiting project. This was several years ago, when I was still recruiting. I gave them the proposal and we set a follow up appointment for two days later. During those two days, I thought about it a lot and decided that what the client really needed was a more comprehensive program that included recruiting. You can probably guess what happened. I went back in. They were ready to go on the Recruiting. I presented the other program. They deferred the decision and in fact, have never done business with me. I’m still kicking myself over that one.

When the customer is ready to buy, let them buy – and then worry about upselling.

I often wonder how much business is lost, or shifted, because salespeople won’t get out of their own way. I’m guessing quite a bit.

Here’s one of those questions that I get a lot. Usually it comes after I’ve given a presentation on the need for salespeople to solve problems and improve the customer’s condition. There are variations in wording, of course, but the general gist works something like this:

“Troy, how can I keep my customers from taking my ideas, that I give them, with the appropriate products and services – and running to my competitor just to get a lower price?” Whenever I’m asked this question, I can literally feel the frustration coming from the questioner. I understand completely. I’ve been there, and there are few things worse than spending hours developing a very detailed proposal only to have the customer run to my competitor who chisels a few bucks and gets the deal. And I always have one answer for the questioner.

You can’t.

I know. It’s not fun for me to say. It’s not even fun for me to write, and I know it’s not fun for the questioner to hear, but it’s also true. One of the biggest fallacies in the world of sales is that there is some magic combination of words, “up front contracts,” and other manipulative nonsense that we can use to back a buyer into a corner where, dammit, they HAVE to buy from us. But it’s not so.

I encountered a similar situation recently. A business owner called with a question about an upcoming Webinar that I was doing. He said, “I have a large sales force all over the country, and it would be hard to get all of them on at the same time. Could I pay for one registration, record it, and then distribute it to my people?”

I told him, no, that would not be acceptable, since I charge on a per-person basis. Since I do make the recordings available to paid attendees afterward, however, he could pay for all of his people and then send them the Webinar link to my recording.

He considered this, and then said slyly, “Yeah. But you really don’t have a way to prevent me from doing what I said, right?”

I responded honestly. I said, “Well, if the knowledge that you’d be stealing my intellectual property doesn’t stop you, then no, I suppose I don’t, but I’m fortunate enough to have a large base of people who pay per-person on the honor system.”

Two days later, he paid. For one person. It’s a similar frustration to the questioner, because in both cases, the other person is basically stealing ideas. In my irritation, I was reminded of something that one of my speaking mentors told me.

A few years ago, he had learned that many of his audio programs had been posted on a free file-sharing website. Of course, he charges for those programs, so this was theft. He engaged a lawyer, spent a lot of time and money, and got the programs removed. And they stayed removed.

For six days.

And then they were back up. He considered getting the lawyer again, but then had a profound thought.

“Those people who steal my work? They’re not my customers.”

What he meant by that is simple. If someone is going to steal ideas, they’re not going to buy them – and they’re not the customers that he wants or needs. He made a conscious decision to stop worrying about those people and instead spend his time and energy focusing on the customers who do see his value and are willing to pay for it. I did the same when confronted with the program theif (although I did remove his name from my email list).

The point is this – there will always be people willing to take advantage of you. And yet, there will always be people who are willing to see your value and pay you for it. And if you’re doing your job right, there will be more of the second than the first. Which people deserve your focus?

When you’re confronted with a situation like my questioner, here’s how you handle it. Ask yourself – and answer honestly – these questions:

• Did I do a quality discovery of the customer’s needs and desired result?
• Did I create customized solutions that were specifically directed at that result?
• Did I quote a fair (profitable) price for generating that result?
• Did I demonstrate value in doing business with me specifically?
• And did I lose the deal solely on price, with the customer getting a lower quote for my exact ideas and products/services?

If the answer is “yes” to all those things, you’ve probably been taken advantage of. The key is to not let it happen multiple times. Your mantra should be: That’s not my customer. And don’t let it happen again.

In other words, don’t work with that prospect again – or if you do, don’t work with them the same way. You already know that they are a price buyer, and if you’re unprepared to be the absolute lowest price provider (and don’t fool yourself – ‘lowest price’ is always a moving target), they don’t justify your time.

Getting taken advantage of once by a person happens. That’s their fault. Letting it happen multiple times is yours.

Recently I was taken to task over something I wrote in a trade magazine. The topic of the article was price sensitivity, and in the article, I referred to number of phrases that salespeople should abandon – phrases such as “I’ll save you money,” “I want the last shot at the price,” and other profit killers.

The person who wrote in was quite agitated and said that my advice was horrible advice. His reasoning was that the biggest company in their area – and their toughest competitor – used those phrases with customers, and that meant that “we have to do so, as well.” I get it. This is an easy trap to fall into – and it’s one that virtually guarantees that you’re going to lose the sale to your competitor.

Words mean things. And many times, whoever controls the language and the terminology of the sale is the one that wins the sale. Here are some environments where the language becomes critical:

When teleprospecting: Teleprospecting is a moment when the language sets the expectation of the customer. Years ago, I had a salesperson who would initiate contact by saying that he could ‘save them money’ on their service. Well, he’d get the appointment, see the customer’s invoice, and quote cheaper prices. The customer would then call their current provider, tell them about my salesman’s cheaper prices, and the current provider would lower their prices.

The customer would then call my guy and thank him for his time, but say that he was staying with his current provider. My salesman fulfilled his promise, didn’t he? His only commitment was to save the customer money – and that’s all the customer was led to care about. And he saved them money and rarely got the business!

If you’re using the same language to get an appointment as your competitors, all you are is a “me too.” And if you’re not as large, as well marketed, or as well branded as your competitor, you’re a lesser optiion, no matter how good you are at what you do.

When quoting price: This was the moment that my critic was referring to. Since his competitor used phrases like, “I want the last shot at the price” when quoting price, he felt that he and his salespeople were bound to do the same thing. Well, first of all, as noted above, when you copy your competitor, you look like a lower-rent version of them.

Besides, this should be obvious: EVERYONE can’t have the last shot at the price. Who will get the ‘last shot?’ The company that has given the customer other reasons to buy besides price, using their own sales language.

Responding to RFP’s: If there’s any moment when the language of the sale is paramount, it’s in RFP situations. Here’s why: The entire success or failure of your proposal depends on the wording of the request for proposal. The products and services in these situations tend to be called out in quite specific detail. That’s the language of the sale. And there’s a dirty little secret behind the language.

Someone – a salesperson – got next to the person who was designing that RFP and setting the language. And, if that person wasn’t you, the language of the sale is subtly designed to eliminate you, not include you (because the salesperson who helped write the RFP wants it that way). Maybe brand names are called out that you don’t have good access to, or product specs themselves are written so as to eliminate some products.

Years ago, when I was in the uniform industry, my company owned a manufacturing arm (as did some of our competitors). Each of us tried to spec our own brand into the RFP, or failing that, to put some specs like fabric weights, specific colors, etc. into the bid that would include us and eliminate others. It didn’t always work, of course, but we always tried.

The key is this: If you didn’t help write the bid, someone did and they stacked the deck against you, using their own language of the sale. And if you can’t talk to the person who is in charge of the bid, your chances of winning are slim and none – and Slim just left the room.

So, what’s your option in these situations? Have the strength to play not by the competitor’s rules but by your own. If you can’t talk to the person who is driving the RFP, don’t offer a proposal (unless you really need the practice at filling out forms). Don’t use their terminology. Have the guts not to ask for the ‘last shot’ at the price. All of these actions define you as DIFFERENT and actually improve your standing and memorability in the customer’s mind.

More than that, use straight talk and terms that resonate with your customer. Don’t use euphemisms or industry terms, and then YOU will be in charge of the language of the sale.

Sometimes, all it takes is three little words. I’m serious. Sometimes, three little words – the saying, the adoption, the believing – can make all the difference in the world. I’m not talking about the classic “I love you,” or any variations thereof; nor am I speaking of anything that begins with “go” and ends with “yourself.” Although I must admit that all those phrases have their time and place.

I’ve spoken of other short phrases that are of great benefit before. “I can help,” for instance, is important because it taps into something very deep within a customer’s psyche. Offering, or asking for, help can be key in changing the trajectory of a conversation. But, these aren’t the words I’m referring to, either.

No, I’m talking about business, and the three words I’m referring to are: sense of urgency. When I look over the various winners and losers I’ve seen in the business world, those three words tend to define the difference between winning and losing. In a nutshell, winners have the sense of urgency; losers do not. When you’re analyzing your own performance or that of your salespeople, ask yourself, “do they display a sense of urgency about their jobs – or not?”

One might think that tighter economic times, such as the ones we’re in at the moment, would provoke greater sense of urgency on the part of those whose responsibility it is to make things happen. Often, however, the result is the opposite, because urgency’s enemy – fear – sets in. Salespeople who would otherwise be highly motivated to make calls get nervous and apprehensive about “the economy,” and thus calls go unmade (“I’d rather call them when the news is better.” Of course, since “the economy” is simply the cumulative effect of individual decisions to do or not to do business, every such postponement actually makes the economy a little worse.

Let’s take a look at some of the roles within (your?) company, and look at how a lack of urgency can negatively impact sales success.

The salesperson: This is fairly easy. In fact, we just discussed such an example above. However, I see a lack of urgency in many different parts of the sales process. As an example – recently, an out-of-town company prospected me to purchase a fairly innovative marketing program. Coincidentally, a local KC company contacted me the very next day, offering a similar service. I know and like the owner of the local company, and I am a buy-local guy when it makes sense. So, I met with them and discussed some possibilities. I then waited for a proposal. And waited. And waited. Meanwhile, the out of town company was calling me to follow up. When I finally received a proposal from the local company (after not one but two calls asking if they wanted my business or not), it was less targeted to my needs than the one I’d received well before from the out of town company. Reasoning that if the local outfit didn’t have a sense of urgency about winning the business, they were unlikely to have one when it came to servicing the business, I went with the out of town company. I’m pleased with my decision – but if the local company had followed up aggressively, they’d have won the deal.

The sales manager: Sales managers can lose sense of urgency in many ways; the decision to make changes in personnel, for instance, becomes a lack of urgency. The most common way for urgency to get lost at the sales management level is when changes are desired by ownership, and the sales manager is lackadaisical about pushing that message to his reps, and making sure that the right things happen. The biggest way the sales manager can reflect a lack of urgency, however, is simply by not making certain that his reps are maximizing their 40 hours per week. I call these sales managers “coast and collect” managers, and they’re not a help to you or your company.

The business owner: Business owners can be the best and worst with a sense of urgency. Sometimes, they’re the best – building a new building, adding a product line, etc. Sometimes, they can be the worst. One example that I see all the time is the business owner who waits for the ‘perfect’ time to do work to develop his/her personnel. “Well, I’d like to get the next person hired” becomes “We’re kinda busy right now” becomes “We’re not very busy right now so we’re keeping an eye on cash” becomes “I just had two people leave” becomes the never-ending cycle. Not coincidentally, the companies owned by these business owners seldom grow.

The best two questions any person can ask, when confronted with an important task, are:

If not me, who?

If not now, when?

While there are other ways “sense of urgency” can hamper companies at every management level, hopefully, you’re getting the idea. Sense of urgency means maximizing every lead, every call, every proposal, and every hour. If you’re doing it, great! If not, remember those three little words.

I just turned 47. I’ve never thought of 47 as a milestone age – most people think of “the nines” or “the decades” as their milestones – but this might just be turning out to be one for me. You see, in the midst of the normal “Happy Birthday” wishes I received on Facebook came an interesting wish. One of my friends wished me a “Happy Personal New Year.” WOW. That kind of hit home. It’s really true, though – why do we make our ‘resolutions’ on New Year’s, rather than on our OWN new year?

Then, another thing happened – again on my birthday – that made me think and reflect a bit. I received confirmation of a booking next April……in Spain. Yes, Spain. Docuware – a world leader in document imaging software – is flying me to Mallorca, Spain to train their English speaking distributors. I’ve worked with them in the past (and am speaking at their Las Vegas conference this year as well), but this is the first time any client has flown me overseas. Am I telling you this to brag? Well, maybe a little – but I’m also telling you this because it drove home a message that the “Personal New Year” started.

The message is that (my) 2016 needs to be a year of expansion. “MORE” is the way of my world in 2016.

More articles in more publications in more industries. In the speaking world, we look at ‘rebook ratio’ as a key measurement of success – the more ‘rebookings’ we get, the better we’re doing. My rebook is high, so why not expand my own sphere of influence?

More new products to help you sell more, build better relationships, and build stronger sales forces.

More Webinars (the survey I did brought that one home in a powerful way). Starting in January, I’m going to be doing two Webinars a month. Some will be repeats of popular topics from the past – I have over 10,000 readers of this newsletter and I know for a fact that significantly fewer than 10,000 of you were on those Webinars – and most will be brand new material. In fact, if you missed the survey but you’d like to suggest a topic, feel free to email me and do so. This is about you, not me.

More live boot camps. While the one I did in Vegas last year was lightly attended, those that did attend said that it helped them. So, I’m going to help more of you with more programming, and I’m going to have it all over the country, not just Vegas. Look for four one or two-day boot camps this year at a minimum.

And I’ve been working on a new project with my friend Kirk Young that will help the managers in my audience immeasurably to improve their hiring skills and results. That will see the light of day in my personal 2016.

Finally, more investment in myself. I’ve shared before that I’ve been coached by the finest speakers in the world – Patricia Fripp, Darren LaCroix, Ed Tate, and Craig Valentine – and it’s been transformative to me. I didn’t do any specific coaching in the last year, but that changes in 2016. Continual investment in ourselves is what makes us great and keeps us great.

So now, having laid bare my own plan for the next year, let me flip the script and pose some questions to YOU. You, after all, are the reason I write these articles.

How will you expand your sphere of influence in 2016? Success in any endeavor depends greatly on the quantity and quality of the relationships that you have.

How can you better service your customers in 2016? What unmet (or poorly met) needs can you develop new products or services to fill?

How can you increase your frequency of contact with your customers? All good things come from communication – how can you ‘touch’ your customers more in the next year?

Are there any projects you’ve been procrastinating on that could make a big difference? If so, how can you put that back on stream?

And finally, the biggie – how will YOU invest in YOURSELF in 2016? I can’t tell you how many salespeople I’ve met that wait for their company to spend money to train them, provide them books, materials, etc. to better themselves. WHY? It’s your career, not theirs! Take the bull by the horns and invest in yourself.

There are many factors in the world of sales, and the world of business, that are out of our control. Instead of focusing on those factors, look at the factors you can control and build yourself the best year you’ve ever had.