A couple of weeks ago, I happened to run into an old friend from over twenty years ago. I hadn’t seen her for a long time, and since I ran into her at lunchtime, we decided to have lunch and catch up. As she enthusiastically described her career to me, she exhibited an old verbal tic. Back when I knew her before, she used to say “and stuff like this” a lot. It was a way of describing a situation – for instance, she’d say, “A bunch of us went out for drinks, dinner, and stuff like this.” When she said it, I couldn’t help but laugh a bit. A 20 year old verbal tic is a stubborn one indeed!
She caught me laughing, and she laughed, too. And then she dropped some knowledge on me that I felt compelled to pass along to you. “Troy,” she said, “I know I do that. In fact, a long time ago, I actually started working to stop it. I’d spend nearly an hour a day practicing ways to NOT say it. Then, after a couple of weeks, I realized that I was spending a lot of time trying to get rid of something that was at worst a minor annoyance, and to some might even be considered cute. So I just decided to own it.” WOW. That’s some pretty heavy thinking, right there.
She went on to tell me that, over the years, she could only think of one or two instances where her tic might have caused her a problem – “And,” she said, “If those people were that bothered by it, maybe they shouldn’t be my customers, anyway.”
Well, isn’t THAT an interesting thought?
As speakers, salespeople, and professionals, we go through our lives being homogenized. Coaches remove our little habits and tics until we sound just like everyone else. My friend, I can assure you, does not sound like everyone else – and I can imagine her customers having a great time working with her. You see, sometimes when we get rid of those tics, we get rid of ourselves, too.
The front runner for the Republican nomination right now has more tics than a dog that’s been out in a summer field for a month – yet, he isn’t trying to change the way he speaks. In fact, one of his tics is saying that everything is huge – or more properly, “Yuge.” Guess what? #YUGE is now a trending hashtag, and it’s become part of his personal brand. Love him or hate him – and I have a feeling that most of us are on one of those extremes – he’s taken a tic and made it work for him.
What about the rest of us? What verbal tics do you have, and do they impede your progress, help your progress, or are they just neutral? I have a tic. I have a tendency, during a speech, to say “Now” when I begin new thoughts or new points. It’s repetitive, I know. If you’re in a one-hour program with me, where I might have three main points, you might not even notice it. If you’re in a one-day training program with me, you definitely will. Does it detract from my message? To be frank, I’m still trying to figure that out – but since I don’t know for sure, I am working on removing it from my speech pattern.
Think about your own verbal tics. If you’re fairly self-aware, you already know what they are. How do your customers react when you use it? Is it like nails on a chalkboard, and your customers cringe? Do they even notice? Or can it in some ways be a positive?
Years ago, Dennis Miller used to say between comedic bits, “Now I’m not going on a rant here.” It became repetitive enough that, instead of eliminating it, he started clearly going on rants – and even released a book and CD called, “The Rants.” It became a signature catch phrase and made him quite a bit of money.
We all have tics – the question is, what does it take to get rid of them, and is that a good use of your time and effort? Sometimes you’re better off owning the tic than dumping it.
The real purpose behind this is to remind you that we are all our own people, with our own personalities. Sometimes a verbal tic needs to be dumped – it works against us. But, sometimes, it doesn’t – and when it doesn’t, it makes you….YOU. You become more real and less homogenized. And in a day and age when people are more and more craving to be dealt with as individuals, there’s a lot to be said for being one yourself.
